Today is the first anniversary of my grandma’s death. I feel tender and grateful. Growing up I got to spend a lot of time with her and I have many good memories.
Yesterday Laynie shared in our extended family text that since Grandma died, she has repeated noticed 12:12 on the clock. Her research indicated that the number 12:12 might be interpreted as a sign that someone you lost is telling you she is ok and watching over you.
She invited us to share memories of Grandma.
My dad recalled watching her enjoy her cup of coffee, holding her cup with both hands, taking in the aroma with a grin on her face, a smile in her eyes, and basking in the love of us being with her.
My mom remembers how once she was irritated that my grandfather was asking too much of her. Mom asked if Grandma was irritated. Her response was, “I’m not doing it for him” and Mom realized she was doing it for HIM. Grandma also modeled how to be a mother-in-law who never tried to interfere in her children’s lives.
Monique shared that she kept thinking of Grandma’s soft skin and her gentle touch. She loved the way Grandma would greet us by putting her hands on our cheeks and kissing us and when we would sit next to her, she held our hands.
Melford shared one of his favorite memories was seeing Grandma walk home from her job at Coast Coil, coming around the corner of 21st and onto Cochran Avenue, with her purse on her shoulder and a full grocery bag. He would skip down the street to meet her and carry the groceries, trying to rummage through it for sweets. Grandma would smile through her tiredness, happy to be coming home and walking with her “knucklehead” son. Grandma had the candy bars in her purse, knowing that Melford would try to sneak through the bag in search of the treats.
Dean shared that he gets his inner strength from his mom and Grandma. They showed him that you have no excuse to be mediocre and that you can overcome any hardship. With God by your side and selfless service, you can make it through any tough situation you face.
Renee learned so much about what true love really was and how to trust in God. The two of them spent a lot of time together and did many fun things. They laughed a lot. Whether Grandma wanted to do those things or not, Renee didn’t know, but she always had a big smile on her face. Renee said that when people asked Grandma what she attributed her longevity to, her response was “God and my love for my family.”
Michael recalled the many conversation they had sitting in the kitchen after washing and putting up the dinner dishes. No matter what the topic he would bring up, he knew he could always count on three things from his mom. She would listen to him. She never judged and she was always honest in her response. She had that unique gift to always make him feel better about himself. He recalls that she almost never told him exactly what to do with his dilemma or issue and she helped him realize that the right answers were always there within him. She always said, “Baby, put it in God’s hands.” She demonstrated true faith not by her words but by her actions. He said Grandma always acted justly, loved mercifully and walked humbly.
Kathleen said Grandma was the best example she ever personally experienced of a loving spirit living a human existence. She met Grandma after both her own parents had died. Grandma accepted her in immediately and Kathleen felt like she had an earthly mother again.
As for me, certain dishes will always make me think of my grandma: collard and mustard greens, Thanksgiving dressing (which she never called stuffing), pan-fried chicken, BBQ ribs, white rice and chess pie. She loved on us with her food and we filled her up with our presence. We had many a family gathering around the kitchen table or in lawn chairs in the garage.
She left quite a legacy. Peace be with us all and as she would say, “Bless you.”
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